Thursday, December 11, 2014

R.I.P. Little One...

For only being 12 ounces and just 77 days old, Atom2 has had quite a busy life... Last night we snuck him into a local restaurant for a fundraiser to benefit the rescue... 

In my heart, I sorta/kinda knew that I was losing this battle with his life... I think I knew on Tuesday afternoon when he started struggling every time I tried to feed him... He did NOT want to eat or drink and that is usually the first sign I am losing the battle... I had begun to feel like an evil foster mom, shoving medications, food, replacement milk, etc... And the needles for the subQ fluids?... I started hating myself for that as well... 

But even after I had to do it to save his life?... He'd stand up, turn around and make a beeline for me and try to climb up my chest into his 'nesting spot'... 

No one who met this wee one was unaffected by his presence... You couldn't help but be amazed at how small he was and yet his 'all out there' personality... The biggest of guys turned to mush when around him... 


Tuesday night, I stayed up most of the night with him... And in my mind, yesterday I started thinking he was giving up on me... Sometimes the fight to live is such a struggle, you get tired of fighting, ya know?

Last night after the third subQ of the day, I feed him, bundled him up and crawled into bed... He cuddled up and went to sleep... 

Normally this is the time I transfer him over to his crate but the thought crossed my head that this might be his last night - the first time I'd had that thought... So I let him stay in bed with me... 

About 1:30AM, he roused up and fidgeted which I know is his 'I gotta go potty' behavior... Set him down in his crate, he did his business, I did some more syringe feeding and he pushed his way back into the bundle nest of fleece for more sleep... 

At 3AM I checked... He was doing fine... At 4AM, I woke him up to get some more fluids down and he was NOT a happy camper... About 30 minutes later, he had to potty again, then came back to the 'nest'... 

He leaned into my chest, started warming up again and went back to sleep... 

I lay there, half awake and half asleep, listening to his breathing... And for a time, I got into a false 'bubble of positive thoughts' when his breathing and Momma's on the floor were in tandem... I could feel his heart where he laid and somewhere at some level, I guess I was listening (?), feeling (?) it... Soon after 7AM, I felt his heart stop beating and now fully awake, I laid there for a second not believing what I thought I was feeling or thinking... Sorta/kinda when you wake up from a dream and not sure if you are awake or asleep still, ya know?

Sadly, Atom2 lost his battle this morning... And I am a train wreck... I would just been a temporary foster mom on his journey to a furever home, but it does not hurt any less... 


Monday, December 8, 2014

Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...

Atom2 is pretty much tied to my hip... Requiring feedings every two hours, I have no choice but to take him with me...  He's already been to a Simi Valley Planning Committee meeting, a mall merchants association meeting and also to the rescue shop several times... What are you going to do, ya know?

It is worse than having a baby at the age of 56... Complete with critter carrier, baby food, syringes, pitty pads, bedding change, SubQs, etc... 

I've discovered the footies work pretty good for him.... They are his size -- OK, well a bit big --- and keeps him warm, but he can't wiggle out of them easy either... 

He's been to the vet's office already... The X-ray up on the light box was bigger than him in size... We held him up and if my cell phone had not been dead, I'd have taken a photo of it... 

The vet could find nothing wrong on the Xray and then had a heck of a time trying to take blood (and enough of it) to run blood panel tests... His teeny tiny size is not thyroid, but she's still not quite sure what is going on... We've added pancreatic enzymes to his diet, but it is still quite a struggle to get 90 to 100 calories down him each 24 hour period... 

Atom2 does not like being left alone... There are times at night I have eventually just given in and allowed him to sleep with me so that I can catch an hour's worth of sleep... 

I have tried all different kinds of configurations to avoid that scenario - not that I am afraid of rolling over on him because he immediately gravitates to below your chin under your neck, but because I don't want to find any 'presents' in my bed... I can only take so much of that pitiful puppy "I'm all alone here" whining and I succumb to it... 

Along this journey of nights waking up every 2 hours to feed him, my 'batteries' are just running down... Hubby got sick running around in last week's rain and of course, I picked it up... This weekend has miserable as I am trying to keep up with him and fight off this upper respiratory... 

I'm the kind of person that if I can just get some sleep, I can kick just about anything... I don't sleep more than 5-6 hours per night anyway, but I'm just running out of steam right about now... 

My daughter and the Saturday crew at the rescue shop took a shift with him in the afternoon to give me some relief... 

And (thankfully) my daughter and her boyfriend (home on leave) took him last night so I could get a full night's sleep... As in 'will he really fit?', they sat him in a shoe and Atom2 curled up immediately and went to sleep... You will do just about anything in the middle of the night to get some sleep... Like I said earlier - it is worse than having a newborn baby... (sigh)...


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Plan C?

This is Atom2's pout expression... 

He was pouting because he just potty'd and I didn't move quick enough to pick up the pitty pad... How dare I not be at his beck and call?... He'd just given me a string of complaints and fussing whines so I lowered the front door and grabbed the camera... 

We are now on 'Plan C' here... Atom2 does NOT want to be left alone, nor does he want to be on the floor like a regular puppy... He wants to either sit on my desk or sleep in the top of my shirt... 

I got stuff to do, ya know?  And he is not a 'hands free' Chihuahua pup at all... 

I initially had a regular Xsmall doggie crate set up for him when I had to have him somewhere secure like right NOW... He was able to turn his head sideways and chew on the bars... I was afraid he was going to break one of his puppy teeth doing that... And he does not care for the plastic kennels either... 

He cannot be trusted just to sit and stay put on the top of my desk either... He is fearless and will walk right off the top of it without hesitation... He does not have a clue how little he is... 


So, today he got his own special little safe space that can fit on the top of my desk... I cleared everything from one half of the top of my desk that I need (after all, it is my desk, huh?... and I am supposed to be working here!)... 

And yes, I put it together backwards... He's already told me about that aspect of it, but he's also not happy he can't chew on the bars either... Well, I guess he could if he really had a mind to do it, but so far, so good... 


But for now?  He's safe when I need him to be for just a few minutes... Even if it is a hamster cage.

P.S.  He is now 11 WHOLE ounces... and will be 10 weeks old on December 4th!

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Even the mighty-mites have to work!

Every year we close the rescue shop on Black Friday and do a 'deep cleaning event' from front to back... 

Because most shelters close at least one day a week to do this kind of thing - and we run 7 days a week - this gives us an opportunity to tear everything down to the bare bones, scrub, clean and reconstruct our gated areas, condos, cribs and other areas... 

Not able to trust leaving Atom2 alone for however many hours it would take yesterday, he had to come with me to the rescue shop... 

And until you actually see him in person, hold him in your hands and watch him walk, poop and everything else he does, your brain cannot wrap itself around just how little he is... 

On Thanksgiving he turned 9 weeks old... When fed, he weighs 10.5 ounces...




Prior to eating he is still at 10 ounces... 

Because he can simply walk through a baby gate, we needed to find a piece of Plexiglas to keep him safe in a small area in the office... And throughout the day he marveled the volunteers who peeked in on him, held him and just coo'd over him... Many of the volunteers teared up when holding him - he is just that tiny and truly a miracle of God... As one volunteer said, "How can anyone say there is no God when you see something this small?"...


Thursday, November 27, 2014

NICE!

What a nice 2AM check!  Atom2 hears me coming and is at the gate of my office, up and standing!  What a grand way to start off Thanksgiving Day! 

WooHoo!

Yesterday I had to make a mad dash to Newbury Park in the afternoon to pick up Desiree's paycheck... I had no choice - he had to come with me 'cause I couldn't count on him to be OK during the time I was gone... 

Little stinker was up on my chest tucked into his favorite spot, looking out at all the folks we were passing by... I have to figure out a better way to move him around with me when needed... Gotta work on this...

I have figured out his stomach is 5 milliliters though... To give you an idea of just how small 5 mL is (beyond the fact it is a teaspoonful), check this out:




And he is NOT a turkey kind of guy - beef guy all the way!... Reached for a baby food jar and didn't pay attention to the label - when he wasn't eating from the syringe like normal, I started wondering why and figured it out quickly... 

Can you just imagine how tiny his heart must be?... And even as small as he is, he is already potty trained -- or pitty pad trained?.... They say Chihuahuas are SO hard to potty train (LOL)... Atom2 is 9 weeks old today and he's pitty pad trained, as tiny as he is... 

OK, 2AM check is done and all is well... Back to bed for me!


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Life is fleeting....

Rescue folks are stereo-typed by the general public as being 'too out there' or too touchy-feely... And maybe we are to a certain extent... We deal with life and death on a day-to-day basis... The only difference is that it is a cat's or a dog's life we are trying to save, which does not have as much value as human life... Our laws make these gentle souls into property and somehow de-valuates them... 

Every day of my life I am reminded that No-Kill is not a sprint or a part-time hobby, but a marathon... And in most cases, it is a triathlon that requires all different types of folks which varying purposes and mindsets to be successful... You might fall into rescue accidentally but you do not fall out of, nor do you retire if you truly care about stopping the killing of healthy, adoptable pets in our communities... 

And you do whatever it takes unless it is illegal or immoral... You do it when you are tired, hungry or mentally exhausted from the struggle... You become a bad person when you tell someone they have 3 children under the age of five years old and a four pound Chihuahua is not a good adoption, nor is it safe for the animal... You struggle constantly with vet bills that exceed any adoption donation you might ask for... And there are not holidays and vacations when you are committed to No-Kill and rescue... 

A pet is furever... And if we threw our children away when they became inconvenient or had behavior problems, there would be a huge dumpster at the end of every Walmart cash register in America - for the number of temper tantrums I have seen while waiting in line!  <grin>

Twice last night I was up with Atom2, and he reminds me by the hour of what I do and why I do it... Finally at almost 5:30AM this morning, I saw him (at 8 weeks old) get out of the doggie bed, trot over to the pitty pad, whiddle and poo... I was SO very proud of him... Like any good foster mom would be... 

Three hours later, he is crashing on me again... 


And for those who have never had a crashing puppy, no level of 'calm, assertive' mindset is going to keep your blood pressure lowered... You do everything you can to save the puppy's life... Maybe this teeny, tiny puppy is not supposed to make it, but you continue on with the mindset that until THEY are ready to give up and cannot continue the fight, neither do you.

And when your pet is healthy and alive, you celebrate each and every hour from the time they arrive into your life until they breath their last natural breath... We do not give up and we do not kill healthy pets... We spay and neuter our pets so there are not unwanted litters of puppies and kittens being born with a home to go to and be loved furever... 

Yes, No-Kill is measured, one dog or cat's life at a time... And it is not a sprint, but a marathon that all humane-minded individuals need to be a part of if we are to succeed as a species on this planet who care.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Warm place to be....

I'm not much on selfies... And I would not say I'm a big busted woman either... All natural but only a "C" cup... Even so, this is Atom2's favorite warm place to be when he's cold... Gives you an idea of just how small this pup is!